Not Special Anymore

August 29, 2018 by Emily Williams

When I was young, I had a boyfriend who was, let's say more conservative than I am. Nothing wrong with that. There came a moment in our relationship though, that looking back, we probably should have recognized as something that fundamentally separated us as people, and would eventually divide us even more so as we grew up.

When we were in High School, a strange tradition arose. Sometime in the last week of school, a group of Gr.12 students would ditch their clothes and run naked through the hallways.

No Wonder They Burned Them

August 08, 2018 by Emily Williams

I lift a strap up
From my arm
Onto my shoulder
For the umpteenth time
That morning
I stretch back
Reaching high
A sharp pinch
From two hooks
Bites my skin

Crying Shame

August 01, 2018 by Emily Williams

"If I'm not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I'm crying." - Kristen Bell

I don't think that there is a statement I could relate to more honestly. Although for me, it might even be between 3.5-6.5. Or if I'm really tired. Or really frustrated. Also a lot in TV and movies, even awards shows. And songs. I still cry every time Chandler proposes to Monica, even though I've watched that scene an innumerable amount. Basically, my tear ducts are pretty strong and pretty active.

Boring

July 25, 2018 by Emily Williams

I once had someone tell me that until recently, their impression of me was that I was boring. Now, in the context of the candid conversation we were having, the comment at the time wasn’t a huge deal and apparently their opinion has changed after getting to know me a little better. But, it did get me thinking.

Being described as boring, or even worse truly embodying the adjective, is one of my nightmares.

Take Me Away, Peter Pan

May 31, 2018 by Emily Williams

Sprinkle Tinkerbell's dust on my shoulders, take my hand, and fly me away to Neverland, I don't want to grow up anymore.

I always prided myself on being mature. Partly because I was often told when I was young that I was mature beyond my age, which my ego loved, and partly because I really felt it. I felt like I was handling my life stages appropriately. I wasn't shoving cocaine in my nostrils on the weekends, I had several savings accounts, I worked hard, and I was a resource of wise and comforting advice to many of my friends. Now, in this new phase in my life, I'm not so sure. I think I may have hit a wall.

Losing Movement

March 21, 2018 by Emily Williams

I sprained my knee this week. I felt the joint crumple under my weight as I twisted. I collapsed to the floor. It took me a minute to process how badly I was injured. I had seriously injured that knee before, and fearful flashbacks of the recovery process were running through my thoughts. As my mind caught up to the moment, thankfully what I found was missing this time was the searing pain of a torn ligament. Just a bad sprain, I think.

Flake

February 21, 2018 by Emily Williams

As I understand it, we have assigned the term flake to someone who is unreliable. Someone who doesn't have integrity with their word. You know that friend who ditches last minute, who is always late, or just doesn't show up at all? Or that business that everyone warns you about going to because they never get back to you on time or lose your stuff, or what have you? These are the people I have very little patience for.

Being Little

January 31, 2018 by Emily Williams

Most of my life, I have identified as "little." I am 5ft 3in and I have outgrown most of my biological female relatives, so shortness is in my genes. In my step-family though, I am the oldest and the shortest. My youngest sister can pick me up under my armpits and swing me around, much like I am sure I did to her when she was a baby. Being little, I have learned my place in the world. I can fit into a High School locker,

Year One

January 24, 2018 by Emily Williams

Last week marked one year from when I committed to writing one blog post a week for a year. In that first post, I don't actually share that as a concrete goal, but that was where my head was at. I talked more about struggles with motivation, inadequacy, and fear of not amounting to anything. About feeling not good enough to call myself a writer, even though that is what I desperately wanted. About guilt, oh the guilt! And about creating a sense of purpose by writing and making a small mark on the tapestry of human history.

Now here I am, one year later, 12 months older, having put more words out into the world than I ever have cumulatively in all my life before that. I counted it up, and if I am correct I was able to hit my goal 43 out of 52 weeks in the past year. For two of those weeks, I gave myself a pass because I was away for the whole week and was busy prepping for that time. The other 7 weeks, who knows? I found myself in the Fall of 2017 definitely a little less into it, but that may just have been from a shift in the weather. Either way, I feel like that's not bad for a new endeavour. I am so happy I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and accomplished something. This is what is coming up for me from this experience:

Real (9) Talk

January 08, 2018 by Emily Williams

I recently became involved with a program at my local high school (which happens to be my old stomping ground) called Real 9. It is part of what many of us would remember as CAAP from our days. The session I volunteer for puts small groups of Grade 9 students in front of adults from the community to participate in mock interviews. This helps them prepare for real life interviews and may be for many of them the first time being asked questions that could secure them employment. We talked about resumes and applying for jobs when I was that age, but I would have really appreciated something like this. I love that this is now a thing!

New First

December 12, 2017 by Emily Williams

I feel like talking about sex is some sort of blogger rite of passage. Like proving how far you'll go and how much of yourself you'll give up to the world. I like sex, and I am a strong believer that we should not be shamed for our sexual tendencies, whether they are towards the prudent or promiscuous end of the spectrum. I think talking about sex is interesting and healthy. On a whole, we in the Western world seem obsessed with sex, this is not news to anyone. When we have a new partner, we want to know everything they've done and how many times and with who and why this and not that. We also love watching it and finding comfort in the fact that someone out there likes the same weird stuff that we do. So why not talk about it? It's a natural thing. At the same time, I really think it's none of your damn business.

Novelty

December 01, 2017 by Emily Williams

When I made the choice to move my life from Vancouver back to my hometown, I was very nervous. For whatever reason, I have often found myself caught in the judgmental thought that when someone moves back home, it's because they are giving up on the bigger world, which I have felt ashamed for thinking. I know tons of people who live in my community who grew up here and have amazing businesses and lives. Maybe it was the city life talking. Maybe I just never thought I would ever have a reason to go back.

Tube Time

November 16, 2017 by Emily Williams

Television. TV. Cable. Netflix. YouTube. However you get it, whatever it is that you call it. On-screen entertainment is accessible to us nearly everywhere at all hours of the day.

My name is Emily, and I am addicted to TV. I know that might sound really ridiculous to many people, but I really think it is true! I get anxious when I can't have it on in the background, when I am cooking, cleaning, doing anything that does not require my full attention. Somedays, I feel like shirking all my responsibilities and social engagements and holeing up on the couch to indulge in an old fashioned binge.

On the Same Page

November 01, 2017 by Emily Williams

There is a book, that I have yet to read, called "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. For someone who has never read this book, I talk about what I believe to be the content of it a lot. I may not know the nitty gritty of the profiles, but I do know at least a little about the concept. Each of us communicates our love in a different way. We all have a unique combination of certain things, be it physical or emotional or both, that to us communicate love. Love is a complicated beast, and to begin to understand it, I agree that we need to do a little introspection to determine what it really means to us individually to show and receive love.

I took the quiz that is provided on the book's website and got some insight into what I had already assumed about the way I perceive love.

Take My Hand

October 27, 2017 by Emily Williams

When I was a little girl, I would fantasize about what my life would be like when I was an "adult." I would be mature, I would be successful. I would be a good dresser and a witty conversationalist. I would have a loving husband and family. I would have a life I loved and I would be respected. Life would all just fall into place.

The older I get, the sillier this fantasy becomes. I was privileged enough to have this ideal image of myself and encouraged to do so by my family. What I always have found funny though, is that I think I really believed that at some point becoming an adult meant I would morph into a different person.

First Day of Forever

October 26, 2017 by Emily Williams

Snap, Cradle, Pop

October 09, 2017 by Emily Williams

Well, I made it. Our parties have evolved from keg standing, solo cup chugging, blackout blurs, to sit down dinners with appropriate beverages both alcoholic and otherwise, where we all fawn over the newest little addition to our group. And it is so fun! I can’t imagine the parents always think so, during the sleepless nights and the crying, but I personally much prefer this phase of life over our bar days. I love buying tiny sweatpants and onesies for newborns. I love watching my friends learn how to be parents and in turn learn from them things that will help me someday. I love the baby giggles and the witty bitty toes and fingers and noses.

Geller Syndrome

September 29, 2017 by Emily Williams

"Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part."

I read that in Anna Kendrick's book recently and I thought it was brilliant. I plan ahead. Sometimes too much. I get neurotic about details that in the end don't matter. But I like to be prepared and I like things done efficiently, and frankly, I don't see anything wrong with that. But it is surprising, to me anyways, how much flack I take for it. I would say it is actually the number one criticism I get, while also the number one complement.

#AmbrewSaysIDo

September 25, 2017 by Emily Williams

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to stand witness to one of the most amazing proclamations of love. The pledging of one soul to another. The exchanging of vows between two people made for each other. In the unbeatable backdrop that Tofino, BC provides, my girl Amber and her beau Andrew walked down the aisle as man and woman, and walked back as husband and wife. The whole weekend was like something from a fairytale. Morning yoga on the beach, bride and groom surf sessions, the reunion of old friendships and the kindling of new ones. Family and friends together celebrating the beginning of what is undoubtedly an ever-lasting union (as long as Andrew stays away from shellfish).

I could describe every minute, and gush for pages, but I am still flying high from the fabulous celebration (and I need about ten naps). So I will leave you with my speech. As the Maid of Honour, I was asked to say a few words about this amazing couple, and for better or for worse, this is what I came up with. Hopefully, I didn't embarrass myself or the Williams' too much!

Biggest Everything Girl

September 17, 2017 by Emily Williams

When I was in University, I was introduced to someone whose friends described as "the Biggest Everything Guy." I had never heard that before. It was explained to me that it meant that every time someone told a story, he had a better one. Every time someone did something awesome, he did something better. He was the guy that jumped in after every story to tell his own.

I am a big story teller. I am not saying that I tell good ones...