"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
When you're presented with an opportunity and you get out that old yellow legal pad to make your trusty Pro/Con list, it makes you start to wonder what this change could really bring about in your life. Many times, I linger on the question "What's the worst that can happen?" so I can determine if the risk of this going terribly wrong is worth it going amazingly well.
But I really think about it...for me, my biggest fear is failure, especially in my career. I figure there is no personal issue so great that I can't persevere, but my work really scares me. Don't ask me why, that's for a therapist to answer for me someday. The problem is, I am always psyching myself out before I even try something because I'm convinced I can't do it. Accountability, responsibility, success, are all buzz words that could easily strike panic into the hearts of young men and women alike who are starting out in the work force. My train of thought when I am staring a new opportunity in the face generally goes something like this:
But I really think about it...for me, my biggest fear is failure, especially in my career. I figure there is no personal issue so great that I can't persevere, but my work really scares me. Don't ask me why, that's for a therapist to answer for me someday. The problem is, I am always psyching myself out before I even try something because I'm convinced I can't do it. Accountability, responsibility, success, are all buzz words that could easily strike panic into the hearts of young men and women alike who are starting out in the work force. My train of thought when I am staring a new opportunity in the face generally goes something like this:
This is one of my all-time quotes to live by, because really, fear is the number one thing that holds us back. Whatever it is that puts that stomach churning, voice quenching, feet halting fear into you that makes you want to say no or to hide or to avoid going out of your comfort zone, it's not real, it is something we have created. Easier said than done to shift our perspective on what fear is though. I can't tell you how much this kind of fear has held me back at times. I am lucky that I had some great role models who were not afraid to point that out to me and helped me to progress past some of my fear (I still have a long way to go!) and want to overcome it more than let it hold me back.
3. Failure isn't losing.
You are the one who gets to define your failures. Just because your business venture doesn't work out, or you get passed over for a promotion, or (gasp!) fired, doesn't mean you're not going to succeed in the future. Every experience teaches you something that you can bring into your next step.
One of my favorite examples of this lesson is in Steve Jobs' commencement speech to Stanford University graduates of 2005.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Something I've noticed is that so many of the things that make us afraid are things that are so worth doing. There is usually a far deep seeded reason that causes us to shake a little with the thought of diving head first into something. Maybe we doubt our ability to achieve all we're capable, or we're worried our choice will be the wrong one. What I really want myself, and everyone else to believe, is that no matter what, it is going to be OK, because we won't let it go any other way. We have to remember how tough we are. Don't let being scared keep you from living life to the fullest. Career choices aside, I have also let this fear make me doubt my ability to withstand the pain of a tattoo, to Skydive out of a tiny plane in the Swiss Alps, and to take guitar lessons. I happily won out over fear in each of these scenarios, and they definitely have all made my life fuller. Take that, Fear.
