TOO LOUD

Over and over in my life, I have been told that I am too loud. The thing is, my decibels aren't about to be turned down any time soon.

I am always having people telling me not to slam doors, or bang pots, or speak at the natural register of my voice. I grew up in a busy house full of kids and animals, where we were always trying to get someone's attention or play a game or doing some sort of crazy stunt that unnerved other parents. I like to think it's because our imaginations were loud and they were all bursting out at the same time. No one noticed when any one in particular was being loud; as far as I remember, it was just a general hum most of the time, and all the crashes and bangs just made a more interesting baseline for the soundtrack to our lives.

My highly-developed vocal chords have served me well in many instances. Never among my many stage directions in High School acting class were the words "You need to project more." I wasn't afraid to be the girl with the megaphone during events. I've been on Leadership committees, been a class rep, given speeches, communicated with teammates on the soccer field, read poetry for a crowd, and sung The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow (slightly off key), with curly red hair on an Elementary school stage when I was ten. I just seem to gravitate to things that put me in situations where being loud is ok, even encouraged by others. Them's my peeps.

I did once rather embarrassingly get asked to do the school announcements more quietly, which I suppose was fair, since I barely needed the microphone for the PA system to begin with. And I did take the direction and apply it. I know not to be loud when it's disrespectful, like in a theatre audience or a library, I do have volume control. I enjoy a good whisper. But I don't actually mind being loud. I'm not going out of my way to make a fuss, get attention, or be purposefully inconsiderate, it's just the volume I operate at naturally.

I like my music turned up, I don't mind a chattering group of children playing make-believe, and I feel at home clanking pots and pans in the kitchen. I also value my quiet time, where I can collect my thoughts, lose myself in a good book for hours, or hang out in nature with only the bird songs and wind rushes to keep me company. I can't sleep or study when there is any noise happening, so earplugs are an essential accessory for me. Just because I speak loudly doesn't mean I don't appreciate the softer side of volume. Great things are experienced in silence.

I respect everyone's right to moderate noise levels, I just don't think I need to apologize for the volume I seem to be programmed with. All you shakers and shouters, sound makers and living out louders, join me in losing that #volumeshame, and accepting that we might just stand out a little more.