My Hair
Why is it there, my hair?
It's there to flip and to flick
To braid and to twirl
It's up and it's down
Ponytails, knots, the occasional swirl
When I forget to brush it
Sometimes in dreads
I rarely think
About the fact that it's dead
Weight making my
Head hot when I'm warm
Cold when it's wet
It's always waving it's strands
In the wind
To every person I've met
Strangers too
Inadvertent hellos
When it flows
In the throws
Of a passing wind
It's always there
It's a place that I stare
Looking for hints of blonde, or red
On my head
Where there are only chestnut locks
Because I want to seem more interesting
I want it to catch the light
And take flight
With glittering hues
That are not just plain brown
They only give you one option
On the license
That is supposed to prove
That you are true
That nobody else
Is youer than you
Mostly I think my hair is there
For me to hide behind
When I am ashamed
Of my face or my mind
My feet feel like lead
My eyes have gone blind
When I don't want to put
My face to face with myself
With the real me
That I've put on a shelf
Bottled up, stored away
She is watching this me who can't really be
Can't be Emily
This imposter is cautious and frightened
Scared of the dark
She doesn't climb or jump
Run or dance on a lark
She's muted and mousey
Not at all like I was
That original score
The girl with a hunger
That always wants more
Thirsting for knowledge
Curious as her cats
Toted by peers
As someone without fears
She has them, I'll tell you
She just lets them fly free
Doesn't let them keep her
Living life on her knees
Like I do
My goodness, was I once like her?
Boundless and limitless
Not jaded and hurt
How did I lose her?
When did she leave?
Or was it I who banned her?
This mystery me
Took over, stole focus
Started living a lie
Where my impacts don't matter
And the time passes by
Without making a difference
Not batting an eye
At this change in direction
That's not what we planned
We planned to be confident
To never be bland
Strong and vivacious
Standing up for our rights
Always kind to companions
Rising up to a fight
Voted most likely on Broadway
Or arrested for protesting
Those people you see
Dancing and singing
Across a stage lit with lights
Booming voices, choreography
In costumes with tights
I should be up there
Or somewhere
That isn't right here
She's in there
That woman I let slip through the cracks
I'll find her, I'll do it
I'll break down that door
So she doesn't have to
Live backstage anymore
Home she will come
And together we'll be
Happy and whole
And as me as is me.
My inspiration, Sarah Kay.
https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter
It's there to flip and to flick
To braid and to twirl
It's up and it's down
Ponytails, knots, the occasional swirl
When I forget to brush it
Sometimes in dreads
I rarely think
About the fact that it's dead
Weight making my
Head hot when I'm warm
Cold when it's wet
It's always waving it's strands
In the wind
To every person I've met
Strangers too
Inadvertent hellos
When it flows
In the throws
Of a passing wind
It's always there
It's a place that I stare
Looking for hints of blonde, or red
On my head
Where there are only chestnut locks
Because I want to seem more interesting
I want it to catch the light
And take flight
With glittering hues
That are not just plain brown
They only give you one option
On the license
That is supposed to prove
That you are true
That nobody else
Is youer than you
Mostly I think my hair is there
For me to hide behind
When I am ashamed
Of my face or my mind
My feet feel like lead
My eyes have gone blind
When I don't want to put
My face to face with myself
With the real me
That I've put on a shelf
Bottled up, stored away
She is watching this me who can't really be
Can't be Emily
This imposter is cautious and frightened
Scared of the dark
She doesn't climb or jump
Run or dance on a lark
She's muted and mousey
Not at all like I was
That original score
The girl with a hunger
That always wants more
Thirsting for knowledge
Curious as her cats
Toted by peers
As someone without fears
She has them, I'll tell you
She just lets them fly free
Doesn't let them keep her
Living life on her knees
Like I do
My goodness, was I once like her?
Boundless and limitless
Not jaded and hurt
How did I lose her?
When did she leave?
Or was it I who banned her?
This mystery me
Took over, stole focus
Started living a lie
Where my impacts don't matter
And the time passes by
Without making a difference
Not batting an eye
At this change in direction
That's not what we planned
We planned to be confident
To never be bland
Strong and vivacious
Standing up for our rights
Always kind to companions
Rising up to a fight
Voted most likely on Broadway
Or arrested for protesting
Those people you see
Dancing and singing
Across a stage lit with lights
Booming voices, choreography
In costumes with tights
I should be up there
Or somewhere
That isn't right here
She's in there
That woman I let slip through the cracks
I'll find her, I'll do it
I'll break down that door
So she doesn't have to
Live backstage anymore
Home she will come
And together we'll be
Happy and whole
And as me as is me.
My inspiration, Sarah Kay.
https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter